Its so interesting how life works, dont you think?. It all seems so unhinged and messy – and yet so incredibly aligned at times too. One thing I noticed after the major collapse of my own life, is how the universe, if you like, seemed to really start speaking to me. Thank goodness too, as there was nothing else to be guided by back then in those dark days, but this gift or sense of alignment has brought me hope and direction over these years where there was none, and for that sense, I am simply thankful. For that, I am also so incredibly curious, and find myself in endless loops of fascination, thinking and contemplating all the questions for which there are no answers all the time. As profound and fascinating as it may be, nothing from this shift seems particularly useful mind you, which only adds to my curiosity and contemplation. 

From that time though, I noticed an immediate and significant shift in synchronicity, curious occurrences, and it seemed like a whole different kind of intuition about things came with it too… which is perhaps just something that comes with sitting with utter silence in life. Were not used to that, and were not especially comfortable with it either I know, but it really feels like a gift in hindsight. I dont know, but I say again, life is interesting how it works!  

So im going to share this funny little story with you because perhaps this message is meant for sharing. Certainly, it seems it is meant to be for me, over and over… and over again. But if its too many words, I dont mind if you skip it either 👌🏼 

A long story short… 12 years ago, I met a nun at a party. I know right? It sounds like a joke, but this is a true story. I was in a place of deep grief, so not the best company at a party Id suggest… I though I could hide it, but as Im told, ‘i do tend to leak’, and im ok with that now. So this nun came and sat with me, and we had an amazing conversation. She actually asked me what I grieve for the most. No one had asked me that question before. 

There were the obvious things of course, but next, to my surprise, came the words ‘i grieve for inspiration. To feel inspired, and to inspire others’. It was a revelation to me then in that moment, and overwhelmingtoo as i felt i had so little to offer. She asked me what used to inspire me and how I used to inspire others, and I told her that I used to paint. But it was over 5 years since Id picked up a brush back then, and it seems so far away now in that space with no path back to it, or to inspiration. But this was the very start of my turn around. 

A decade ago, I was walking with a friend, talking about this and that as we wandered about a truly boring trade show. I was talking to her about my journey at the time, trying to return to inspiration and the immense effort it seemed to require to even reach first base – inspiration. Chatting away in our own little bubble, this man walked straight up to me from out of nowhere and he handed me this small strip of paper. I trusted no one back then, but i opened it and read the words as you can see above ‘Inspiration comes to those who make effort’. 

My friend and I were in amazement of this happening. The randomness of him, this occurrence, the remarkable timing, and the words Id just spoken unfolding right there on this little strip of paper in my hand. I popped it in my pocket. 

Later I found it in my pocket again and thought, this must have a meaning. Ive seen people posting inspirational quotes around their home and office, and I hate that, but now I got on the bandwagon and stuck it to my fridge where I could see it every day. It stayed there for 10 years, so long all the memories of those days faded to irrelevance, swallowed up in 10 years of studio time and inspiration, without a moments rest. 

Leaving my home 2.5 years ago, I felt to remove that note from my fridge as I emptied my home out to nothing, but I left it there… just the fridge and that note remained. People came and went from this place and I forgot about it. Moving back here at the end of last year I smiled as I stepped back into my home again, the fridge with the note still attached to its door just as Id left it. Now though, it seemed time to remove it so i peeled it off the door, hesitated for a little moment and put it in the bin. 

2 weeks passed by and I was walking way down the street from my house and I looked down at my feet as this little strip of paper blew across the path to rest at my feet. I bent down to pick it up and you can imagine my surprise when I realised what i had, back in my hand! ‘Inspiration comes to those who make effort’, it read, now so weathered and tatty from life on the streets! I couldnt believe it, but there it was again

Back home, I let it sit here in my studio for a month or so, finally deciding it was time to throw it away. So i popped it in my studio bin where it sat for a little while before finally emptying my bin for collection last week. This morning though, I spotted this little strip of paper, down between my desk and shelves and there it was again, stuck to my studio rug… and so I have decided this message is not done with me yet!

‘Inspiration comes to those who make effort’

Its not as exciting a mantra as I could dream up, ill say that, but this one seems to be mine! I guess theres more for me to learn there? So today Im sharing this recurring, 10 year old thought with you too because it just doesnt seem like its done spreading its message just yet.

I hope that wasnt too boring a tale for you. In any case, I am checking in with you all to thank you for being such a part of MY inspiration and journey to this point, just by being here and getting behind my work like you have. It has been a long road, but feeling inspired and inspiring others is a goal youve all played such a part in realising, despite the odds, and I appreciate you all 🙏🏻